So… here’s what I did (with the picture below). Please tell me a better way.
1. Opened the RAW image in Adobe’s RAW opening thingy.
2. Slid the sliders till I was happy and then opened in PS.
3. Rotated.
4. Duplicated the layer twice.
5. Blurred the top layer like mad.
6. USM the 2nd layer
7. Rubbed out Maria’s face on the top (blurred) layer.
8. Made a gradient adjustment layer and used it to create the monotone
9. Cropped to A4 size at 300dpi
10. Saved as JPG highest quality
11. Opened my Epson R220 print tool (called Epson Easy Photo Print)
12. Selected the JPG and the paper and printed.
EDIT. Should have said: monitor and printer are not calibrated; I use Epson inks and paper.