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Health and lifestyle choices…
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Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it…
Don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend
the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green
leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended
daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that
means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the
goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain.
Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If
you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise
program?
A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain… Good!
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO. Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!!
It’s the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about
food and diets.
And remember:
‘Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways – Chardonnay in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly
used up, totally worn out and screaming : Woo Hoo, what a ride!
Rob.
You have just made my day Rob so if you could say something good about the ciggies i wont have a care in the world
Cathal
cathald wrote:
You have just made my day Rob so if you could say something good about the ciggies i wont have a care in the world
Cathal
No problem Cathal; tobacco… yet another vegetable…
Its all fun and games untill you get a kidney stone trust me….. am not aloud salt anymore and am only 30 :(
Very good!!
Looks like i’ll be one of the one’s falling sideways into the grave so!! :lol: :twisted:
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