First time trying this type of shot. Had a limited amount of time and very little gear. One sb600 flash up high of the left with a shoot-through umbrella and another flash fired from the right at the sheet hanging on the wall. I had to lighten the faces a bit in photoshop and I think the eyes are a bit lost. Any other C&C much appreciated.
I think the girl looks great, but I agree with you about the lads eyes. The lighting on both of them looks pretty good to my untrained eye.
There also seems to be some dark patches on the background. I know when I tried this, I used the dodge tool on the bckground, but when I loaded the image to flickr, I could see the dark patches everywhere, something to do with how I used the layers, maybe a similar problem here.