There is a lot to like in this image Mark, its tonality, facial contrast and shadows, sharpness and although the model is a looker, you captured her eyes as the photos draw point for me. If I had a sticky point, it would be the brightness of the models hand on the hat, seems slightly out of whack against the contrasting black of the hat. However, I have never even tried to shoot a model, so take what I say with a pinch of salt chief.
I understand where you are coming from. The subject was lit with studio lighting so the hand is bright because unlike her face its not shaded from the excesses of the light by the hat.
I am not sure whether thats right or wrong then. Should I be burning her hand down to match tones elsewhere or leaving it alone. Be interested in hearing others opinions on that. Though sometimes I think we as photographers can get a bit anal when it comes to dissecting images (I include myself here) :) for critique.